We’re inundated with images of beautiful, shapely, thin or muscular models of both sexes. They’re everywhere – ads, magazines, billboards, websites, TV commercials. They project an image of youthful perfection we all aspire to – and which forms our sense of what beauty is.

Of course, it’s a hopeless fantasy. Even the models themselves don’t really look like this if you meet them in person. Everyone has blemishes and “imperfections.” Computer artists simply cover them up to create the illusion.

There’s nothing wrong with creating and appreciating artful illusions. The problem arises when we feel inferior because we don’t match up to the illusion – whether we’re the viewer or the model. The modeling industry is notorious for drugs, anorexia, and depression. Why? Well, because when people are appreciated merely for their external beauty – an impermanent condition at best – they may never build a deeper sense of self-confidence in who they really are. I don’t mean to suggest that’s true for all models. But basic self-confidence is a big issue for all of us.

In my book Words Become You, I examine all of life through the window of communication. Why communication? Because at heart communication is about relationship – relating to the world and people around you. To communicate (and live) more fluently and easily you must be confident in yourself and also be connected to others – at the same time.

It’s possible, and in my book I explain ten natural powers to do this: ten powers we each have but need to unleash. “Words become you,” means communicating and living in a way that fits you: just as someone might compliment you by saying, “That dress really becomes you.”

So enjoy the beautiful fantasies created by the touched-up model images you see everywhere. But remember at the same time that the greatest model to aspire to is being yourself . . . and being actively connected to the world as it actually is.

Gareth Sirotnik
Writer, consultant, Buddhist monk
Author, Words Become You

Photo by Steven Lemay