In today’s society of plastic surgery, we forget that the essence of beauty stems from a person’s inner vitality. Vitality results from leading a multi-dimensional life that includes pursuing one’s own passions, being creative or productive, and carrying on meaningful relationships.

True beauty is reflected by a person’s demeanor. In Alan Alda’s autobiography, he describes being backstage and seeing an actress play a hideous, monstrous woman. He thought the actress was perfect for the part, because she was so ugly with thick fingers, no neck, and a pudgy nose. He was shocked when, in the last act, she transformed into a beautiful woman without any change in makeup. Her fingers and neck actually became slender and long, and her face looked regal. He realized that the most dramatic transformation comes from the way people hold themselves.

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In reality, true beauty is without artifice. Our character eventually shines through any amount of make up or plastic surgery. The way we treat others is remembered always, and colors the way people view us, no matter how flawless our complexion. Each person has his or her own individual passions and life experiences, which are often best reflected in those very wrinkles that we abhor. They are the roadmap of our life. Confidence in one’s own inner and outer beauty can sustain passion in a relationship better than liposuction and restilin. And if one’s partner is only interested in youthful appearances, then why would one want to stay with that person?

Yet, it’s fine to continue to do things that will preserve or enhance what nature has given us—that may include having work done for some—, but the key lies in choosing an attitude of joy rather than allowing desperation to take over. The important thing is our attitude toward beauty. Knowing and accepting our ageing process is very liberating–mentally, emotionally and timewise! It frees us to pursue our own life through our own lens, not someone else’s.